Change

Here is my question for you all. How do people change? How do I change? Sometimes I feel like I am the same person I was in high school. Don't get me wrong, I was a pretty good kid in high school . . . but there is so much more I want to develop into.

I want to have more confidence in myself. (Ironically, I don't really like admiting that I want to be more confidant.) I especially don't want to worry as much as I do. (Poor Cameron gets to be the victim of my endless worrying sometimes.)  I don't want to doubt myself so much. (Did you lock that drawer? Turn off that curling iron?) Oh. And don't get me started on how much I let food impact my mood. I don't want to be so hangry. (You know, when you say the most hostile things just because you haven't eaten in a while.) Cameron jokes that I don't have any hobbies sometimes. It would be good to develop broader interests and hobbies.

Changing these things is so hard! I feel like they are part of my personality sometimes. I am really good at identifying areas for improvement, but not always good at following through. It is so easy to get stuck in the rut of life.

I have felt, that as a woman, I have been built up to be this inherently compassionate, caring, [insert other wonderful quality here] individual. As I realize that I may not always naturally fulfill these characteristics, part of me begins to wonder about who I am. However, I do believe that I am a daughter of God, and that I do posses divine characteristics. As daughters of God, however, we may have different inherent strengths. Perhaps those qualities mentioned in the first sentance of this paragraph are something we do have at some innate level, but have to develop in order to realistically exist. Much like watering a seed.

Gordon B. Hinckley said the following:

If we wish the blessing, we must pay the price. A part of that price lies in being faithful. Faithful to what? Faithful to ourselves, to the very best that is within us. No woman can afford to demean herself, to belittle herself, to downgrade her abilities or her capacities. Let each be faithful to the great, divine attributes that are within her. http://bit.ly/1690mnf

I like that part about being faithful to yourself. I need some of that.

I guess what I'm asking is: how do I stay true to the divine, the essence of my worth and who I am while still recognizing the need for change? Elder Uchtdorf's "forget-me-not" talk on the importance of patience seems to come to mind. (Cue the whining Courtney: It's so hard to be patient!)

And I especially don't want to use patience as an excuse for not actively challenging my flaws.

Now let me try to answer my own question. How can change occur? It will take prayer, motivation, not biting off more than I can chew, and not getting distracted from the task at hand. This sounds difficult. I don't think we can ever change completely by ourselves. That's a big part of the enabling power of the atonement. This is where grace may come into play.

How have you been able to change? Build confidence? Stop worrying? Kick the hangry habit? Are there tricks that work for you?